University can become a very isolating experience. Many students have moved far away from their family and friends and may find it hard to make new ones.
If you’re feeling lonely, don’t ignore your feelings. It may seem hopeless, but the reality is you don’t have to feel like this.
Feeling Lonely
Loneliness isn’t always related to actually being alone. You can be surrounded by people all day long, but actually connecting with individuals is a totally different experience.
Feelings of loneliness shouldn’t be taken lightly. Negative emotions can seriously affect your concentration and ability to study and get tasks done. If left unchecked, these feelings can also lead to anxiety and depression.
Connecting with Others
The fact is, we as humans are highly socially orientated and even the most introverted person needs social connections in order to live a fulfilling life. That being said, not all connections are created equally. Thankfully, nobody has to make do with unfulfilling relationships. There are plenty of ways that we can find people who we can really gel with.
Really get to know the people in your circles, this includes your classmates. Ask them casual questions about their opinions and life experiences (just try not to get too personal). Someone you thought you had nothing in common with may surprise you.
Social Media
Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat…it seems like many of us live our lives out on the internet these days. However, although it can help, chatting with people online is no substitute for in person friendships and social media isn’t good for your mental health if you spend too long on it.
The best way to use social media if you are lonely is to organise or be made aware of social get togethers. You can find many social events and workshops on Facebook, which can be extremely beneficial if you choose activities that you will enjoy. There is also a popular app called Meetup, which is specifically designed for this reason and is a great way to find friends who have similar interests. Sharing fun and challenging experiences with other people also creates a sense of community.
Romantic Relationships
It can be very tempting to seek out romance in order to quell loneliness. However, it is not a guarantee that the other party, who someone emotionally invests in, will be the right one and it is unfair to expect too much from the other person in the relationship. People have their own lives to lead and can’t be expected to give their partner constant attention, which is often the trap that people who feel isolated fall into.
It’s best not to rely on one other person to stop you feeling lonely. Life is not like the movies. Relationships can be wonderful, but they’re not the be all and end all. Fostering healthy platonic relationships is a stepping stone to creating healthy romantic ones in the future or improving a current relationship.
Mental Health
If you are deeply struggling with feelings of loneliness, anxiety or depression, there are people and organisations who can help. Your school, college or university will also be able to offer support, so please don’t stay silent.
Contacting your doctor is also important. They will be able to refer you for more support. For more support and advice, please see below:
The Samaritans (suicide helpline)- 116 123
Mind (mental health charity)- www.mind.org.uk
